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I told you all lawyers are worthless. After all it takes won (sic) to know one. Former V-P Dan Quayle

Lawyers are just like physicians: what one says, the other contradicts. Sholom Aleichem

The only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. Jeremy Bentham

One skilled in the circumvention of the law. Ambrose Bierce

A learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it himself. Henry Brougham

One who defends you at the risk of your pocketbook, reputation and life. Eugene E. Brussell

A chimney-sweeper who has no objection to dirty work, because it is his trade. Charles Caleb Colton

The only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from (amongst) themselves. Charles Caleb Colton

By laws dark by-ways he has stored his mind with wicked knowledge on how to cheat mankind. George Crabbe

One whose opinion is worth nothing unless paid for. English Proverb Those who lie, conceal and distort everything and slander everybody. Jean Giraudoux

Where there is a rift in the lute, the business of the lawyer is to widen the rift and gather the loot. Arthur G. Hays

Those who earn a living by the sweat of their brow-beating. James G. Huneker

It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour. Thomas Jefferson

I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters. John Keats

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. Charles Lamb

Those who use the law as shoemakers use leather; rubbing it, pressing it, and stretching it with their teeth, all to the end of making it fit their purposes. Louis XII

One who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation. Henry Louis Mencken

People whose profession it is to disguise matters. Thomas More

Perilous mouths. William Shakespeare

Those whose interests and abilities lie in perverting, confounding and eluding the law. Jonathan Swift.

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