Hi, beloved Librarian patron! It's me, Ralf, again. . . . You know, the
head librarian?. . . Duh. . . The one who gave you the tour and your
Library Card?. . . Yeah, that's right, that one. . . . Geez!
Could you please help me with something? I'd really appreciate it if
you'd tell me one thing. . . .
Why did a fine looking, obviously intelligent person like you want to see
WHAT KIND OF SORRY GEEK ARE YOU?. . . YOU LIKE TO SET FIRE TO CUTE
KITTENS OR RUN OVER PUPPYDOGS?. . . IS YOUR LAST NAME MENGELE?
Only curiosity?. . . Sure it was. Heh, heh, heh.
Listen my friend, this was a test to identify people who are at risk
of becoming lawyers. We figure we may be able to identify them and
hopefully do something to help salvage their lives and souls before
it's too late.
And guess what? YOU FLUNKED THE TEST!!
So, if you have even a shred of self-respect left, please be sure to
leave your name and address at the Library's main desk when you leave and
we'll arrange to have a team of highly trained mental health professionals
contact you in the very near future.
NOW, GET THE HELL BACK TO THE LIBRARY ANDREAD SOMETHING USEFUL OR I'LL SUE YOUR SORRY BUTT ALL THE WAY TO. .